When Truth Is Lame Enough

Usually, I don't lie. When I have to, it's super-smart, quick and the excuses are far from mundane, lame ones.

But have you ever thought about what to do if you are in a situation where the truth was so flaky it sounded like a lame excuse? It's amusing actually. Let me relate. Recently, I moved into a new city where I have a couple of cousins and friends stationed for years. One of those friends invited me to a restaurant to meet some of her friends. I joined them. From the middle of nowhere, (one of her friends)'s mom had come to join us. Suddenly, a girl from the group got up, came close to me and whispered, "hey, I'm not carrying a bag to put this in...you know, there's this aunty now...dropping it in ur bag, will take it back later...". I looked at her hands pulled beneath the table top. It was a pack of cigarettes and a match-box. I didn't have too much to say anyway, so I let her.

I came back home. Went back to work the next day. Nothing happened. Then after work, I came back to my acco. A colleague, who I'm still getting to know better, comes to me and asks for something. I pick my bag upside down and there! The cigarette and the match-box fall out. Now, the background to the story is that the other day we were exploring each others habits and we had a casual conversation about how I have never taken to smoking even when most of my last few roomies smoked regularly! Anyway, so there I was, picking the pack of cigarettes up from the floor and I had to say something so I started like this -

Me: "Well..not mine..."
Her: "hmm...that's OK"
Me: "ha ha...its amusing...actually a friend slipped it in my bag last evening.."
Her: "accha accha.."
Me: "well...it's strange that we talked about this only the other day and then this girl put it in my bag and forgot to take it back...." (it kinda trailed off)
Her: "Of course, yar...in fact it's okay even if you smoke"
Me: "am sure it is...just that I don't.."

What could have I said to not make the issue any more important and still put it clearly that I wasn't lying when we casually spoke about smoking that day!?!

Another one:

It was my cousin's birthday. He called his friends and me and we all ate out that evening. As luck would have it, two leaders from my project (like the top guys) were eating in the same restaurant. When I noticed I went up to them to say hello etc. We chatted for a while very casually.

As elderly people put it, one of them asked, "So is that young man in stripes your fiance, Shilpa?" (FIANCE...? I freaked out hearing that term!)
I wanted to say, "which part of that question is really your business?"
But I uttered, "fiance?...m not..er...well, who...?" (turned around to realize my own cousin was wearing stripes) "Oh..that....I said, that's my cousin..".
"Ah!" he goes.
"it's his birthday today.." I go on aimlessly.
"Oh good, this is a nice place to eat...well enjoy your evening.", he ends.

OK, I hate that "this is a nice place to eat.." shit! Especially if that comes with a look that gestures at me suggesting as if I'm lying! As if, he's saying, "hmm...cousin...that's the lamest excuse".

Excuses are much easier, if you have to make them at all, that is. But God! what do I do with truth, now?

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P.S.:- After reading this, my friend added (you can catch her blog at http://tranquilabundance.blogspot.com/ ):

Happened to me a few days back. Sukhleen's (her roomie) bf kunal..was trying to take parathas frm my plate..i was trying to dodge him..somehow..i hid the paratha in da kitchen..and ran to the kitchen..and he caught my hand. Sukhleen walks in wid a quizzical xpression..i say..he was takin my paratha and no paratha in sight! She was like..yeah..its cool..and i was like..no i was really trying to save the last piece fr myself. she ends it..its ok yaar..i know u guys are da closest pple to me.