Man on the aisle

What is it about old men and college? I often seem to come across old-men who are talking fondly among themselves about college. I guess, college days are the best days in a man's life (man, as in mankind). It's sad that they get to know that only when they are that old. I knew it when I was in college and never made much out of it. Also, I think my days working as a consultant are as good as well, if not more. May be I am the indifferent kind.

Now, I was in this 2X2 aircraft on my way back to my hometown...if you travel in sectors that have your tickets loudly announce to you - "NOTE: This flight is not a jet.", you will probably know that the aisle in those crafts are big enough only for two size-zero air hostesses to walk alongside. A fat man is an embarrassment to the aisle and the airline alike, on that small plane. So, here I was, staring at co-passengers in the economy cabin of the same jet (oops, non-jet!) that carried a happily chubby old uncle seated somewhere in the rear (lets call him, uncle at the rear seat or UR). My mind started anticipating a story being spun out when the old uncle moved conspicuously towards another old uncle seated in the front row (lets call him, uncle at the front seat or UF).

Firstly, it was quite a spectacle watching the UR struggle his way through the congested aisle to the front. All passengers on aisle seats, almost automatically, drew their elbows in! (When it comes to dangers that are more visible, passengers don't need to be told over and again - "Please switch off you mobile phone at this moment".). Well, the uncle kept moving forward with the co-operation of all present countrymen that Subash Chandra Bose never saw in his lifetime...and then suddenly, UR found himself stuck between two food-trolleys (or whatever you call them) which entered one from each side of the cabin. Momentarily, all eyes stared in unison at the UR and then the air hostesses, taking turns at looking them both. Pregnant pause followed. Then one of the stewardess asked uncle to get into one of the seats so that she can move the trolley forward for him to carry on with his long-walk-to-freedom. The most probable target-aisle-passengers instantly pretended they were sleeping including I. Nonetheless, UR smashed a young man's foot trying to fit in between him and the seat-back before him. Poor guy!

By this time, of course, all passengers were waiting with bated breath to find out where UR wants to go (given that there was no toilet/washroom towards the front of the non-jet.) UR let open the secret by placing a tough hand at UF's sturdy shoulders jolting him out of sleep. Like Devanand, UR tilted his head and smiled at UF. Like all of us Indians, UF was programmed to smile back without delay. But I could tell that UF had no clue who UR was! I am sure he must be praying it is not some hijacker planning to make him the hostage. To make the situation further embarrassing, UR asked in a coarse voice - "Pehchaana, hain?" (roughly translates to: Did you recognize me, huh?).

UF( With "I'm-a-bit-lost" written large on his face): "Ha ha, arre saab kya haal hai?" (Howz u, Mister?)
UR (Without budging an inch): "Pehchaana ki nahi?" (did you recognize me or not?)
UF (Smiling too much, suddenly): "Haan, Haan, kaise nahi.." (Sure, how can I not?)
UR (Putting UF in a sticky situation now): "Bata kaun hun?" (So tell me, who am I?)
UF (Staring blankly as if the answer will appear with the snacks the stewardess was serving): " he he.."
UR (Interrupting UF's weird laughter): "Ashok..yaad aaya?" (I'm ashok, rings a bell, doesn't it?)
UF (Shouting loud.. almost got up): "arrrrree Ashok, kya baat hai, kahan ho aaj kal?" then softly adds, "Pehchaan gaya tha main, naam muh pur nahi aa raha tha.." (Apparently, UF had recognized UR already only that the name-server of his brain didn't help.)

And then, the entire crew and crowd knew it that UR and UF were from the same college. Some of curious passengers then retired to sleep, as if they had reached the fag end of a thriller with the suspense out in the open now. But for me, the story continued. They talked in one sentence about how good the college was...another couple of sentences about good college days. Then UR asked UF about where Shobha was these days and UF answered Shobha had gotten married and settled in Jaipur. I obviously thought Shobha was UF's relation (daughter,sister, may be wife). Then UR asked about another lady and then another...UF and UR were talking about girls from their college! They never mentioned a single male-fellow. It must be a co-incidence. From the looks of the two of them, it must have been a 100 years ago that they left college but they named some 6-7 girls from those days and also from the city-college! Of course, UF remembered each girl's name and whereabouts, as if he was 'single-handedly' running the yellow-pages business. But, obviously, he couldn't recall UR's name :)

Then UR was approached by the stewardess reluctantly, to ask him where can she serve him snacks...I thought to myself, what's some petty snacks as against great conversations about girls in college. To my surprise, old uncles have their priorities very clear, he slightly waved his hand to UF and asked the lady to serve him at his seat. Everyone was party to the developments and hence they all gave way for UR's retreat, making an extra inch available on the aisle. Arrgh, these non-jets, there's hardly any space ;)