New Levels of Oblivion

One step and another,
This aimless journey uphill,
'Keep going', they say, 'keep going',
And, look where have I reached!

New levels of oblivion,
There is magic in the breeze,
The ultimate levitation,
And, look where have I reached!

A world of blissful indifference,
So hollow there is no space,
Voices turned to mere noises,
Both time and purpose have ceased.

Mera Bharat Mahaan

This is a real incidence. Though you'd find it mundane, ordinary and definitely not shocking, I still emphasize its real because otherwise the issue behind these significant yet mundane things is dismissed with everyday humor.

Last night, a white SUV drove-in straight (via the pavement) to the porch of a well-known south-mumbai movie multiplex. I was waiting there for the rain to allow me to hail a cab. My husband was on phone alongside me. Two white-kurta-pyjamas-clad politicians with visible security men walked out from the SUV that stopped inches away from the glass-door entrance. The first thing one of them did was to spit 'pan' or whatever he was chewing right in front of the spic-n-span entrance, in front of us. And in full public view, he also threw his cigarette butt carelessly around. "...Talk about civic sense..", I thought to myself and looked away. But, my husband who is a li'l more sensitive about these things couldn't help being sarcastic and that too aloud, "Mera bharat mahaan" he said in an even tone.

The guy turned around, posed for a while, like Mahatma Gandhi often did with an index finger pointed out at you, except for the fact that he was looking more threatening and angry. "MERA BHARAT MAHAAN?..." he asked, "DON'T try and act smart with me...". I just stared at the guy and his audacity(the politician's, of course). But, my husband went ahead and asked him why is that cigarette butt thrown there and that dirty pan-residue spit right out the door. Suddenly, the security men came forward. The man from this country's leadership fraternity kept reinforcing.."do not try to be smart with me..". I stood like a rock beside my guy [by all means I was not moving much less giving any signs that I was alive ;)]. The man goes "Pitwa dalunga.." in full view of the entire junta that can hear all this and go home and sleep peacefully.

Needless to say, the kind politician spared me and my unapologetic husband. Subsequently, I swore and abused the politician within the closed doors of the cab.

This morning a lot of questions popped-up in my mind...no great answers though, I have an idea...like we have those basic etiquette classes for management trainees, we should have some classes for politicians as well. For example:

>>Civic Sense - More and more educational institutes have started culturing kids on not littering etc to internalize these things. When they grow up & realize that they are the only fools who practice it..they will associate civic sense, rights and duties with the 'aam-admi syndrome'. Wouldn't that be destructive in the long run?

>>CRM as in (customer relationship management) - Who are the end customers of the governance in a country? Citizens, no? Then, when would we be treated with a little more respect like how a typical firm treats its customers? Or much less, may be. Are customers segmented clearly in politics? Why are most of these customers not heard or treated better? Is it a culture issue? Is this phenomenon pervasive?

Anyway, so that was that. Oh and I forgot, the movie was just alright.

Do you google?

I think most internet creatures are being increasingly blinded by google search engine. All search results seem to be sponsored sites, in one way or the other....at least on the first few pages. It now appears more like any other commercialized advertising portal. Searching for relevant stuff has become a process where you manually filter out the nonsense.

The Origin of River Krshna

I'm back from a happy tour to Mahabaleshwar. Before I actually visited "Panchganga Mandir", I was mighty excited about visiting the source of a river. I was doing it for the first time. In my imagination I had already peeped into the source of the stream flowing down through the hill right to the bottom....from between grass and pebbles.

As we walked up to the source, we discovered that the it was made into a temple. There was no source in sight. Drains were built over the sources (five streams originate on that mountain) and then water was routed into one single stream which was visible flowing out of a stone sculpture (a bull's mouth). It was nothing like the nature lover's place that you'd expect. Sadly, there were so many people fighting over getting drops of that water and in the process the whole stream and the pond beneath became muddy and dirty. Lots of children were there as well. Children couldn't get through to the source so they would copy the pious adults and sprinkle muddy water of the dirty pond over their face and head.

I don't know what...but it got me thinking.

When Truth Is Lame Enough

Usually, I don't lie. When I have to, it's super-smart, quick and the excuses are far from mundane, lame ones.

But have you ever thought about what to do if you are in a situation where the truth was so flaky it sounded like a lame excuse? It's amusing actually. Let me relate. Recently, I moved into a new city where I have a couple of cousins and friends stationed for years. One of those friends invited me to a restaurant to meet some of her friends. I joined them. From the middle of nowhere, (one of her friends)'s mom had come to join us. Suddenly, a girl from the group got up, came close to me and whispered, "hey, I'm not carrying a bag to put this in...you know, there's this aunty now...dropping it in ur bag, will take it back later...". I looked at her hands pulled beneath the table top. It was a pack of cigarettes and a match-box. I didn't have too much to say anyway, so I let her.

I came back home. Went back to work the next day. Nothing happened. Then after work, I came back to my acco. A colleague, who I'm still getting to know better, comes to me and asks for something. I pick my bag upside down and there! The cigarette and the match-box fall out. Now, the background to the story is that the other day we were exploring each others habits and we had a casual conversation about how I have never taken to smoking even when most of my last few roomies smoked regularly! Anyway, so there I was, picking the pack of cigarettes up from the floor and I had to say something so I started like this -

Me: "Well..not mine..."
Her: "hmm...that's OK"
Me: "ha ha...its amusing...actually a friend slipped it in my bag last evening.."
Her: "accha accha.."
Me: "well...it's strange that we talked about this only the other day and then this girl put it in my bag and forgot to take it back...." (it kinda trailed off)
Her: "Of course, yar...in fact it's okay even if you smoke"
Me: "am sure it is...just that I don't.."

What could have I said to not make the issue any more important and still put it clearly that I wasn't lying when we casually spoke about smoking that day!?!

Another one:

It was my cousin's birthday. He called his friends and me and we all ate out that evening. As luck would have it, two leaders from my project (like the top guys) were eating in the same restaurant. When I noticed I went up to them to say hello etc. We chatted for a while very casually.

As elderly people put it, one of them asked, "So is that young man in stripes your fiance, Shilpa?" (FIANCE...? I freaked out hearing that term!)
I wanted to say, "which part of that question is really your business?"
But I uttered, "fiance?...m not..er...well, who...?" (turned around to realize my own cousin was wearing stripes) "Oh..that....I said, that's my cousin..".
"Ah!" he goes.
"it's his birthday today.." I go on aimlessly.
"Oh good, this is a nice place to eat...well enjoy your evening.", he ends.

OK, I hate that "this is a nice place to eat.." shit! Especially if that comes with a look that gestures at me suggesting as if I'm lying! As if, he's saying, "hmm...cousin...that's the lamest excuse".

Excuses are much easier, if you have to make them at all, that is. But God! what do I do with truth, now?

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P.S.:- After reading this, my friend added (you can catch her blog at http://tranquilabundance.blogspot.com/ ):

Happened to me a few days back. Sukhleen's (her roomie) bf kunal..was trying to take parathas frm my plate..i was trying to dodge him..somehow..i hid the paratha in da kitchen..and ran to the kitchen..and he caught my hand. Sukhleen walks in wid a quizzical xpression..i say..he was takin my paratha and no paratha in sight! She was like..yeah..its cool..and i was like..no i was really trying to save the last piece fr myself. she ends it..its ok yaar..i know u guys are da closest pple to me.

God Only Knows (No... seriously!)

Listening to good music right now.....Makes me wonder...Who first made music? People must have developed theories about that, haven't they? Apologies, if the question is stupid, I haven't googled it yet ;).

Sometime back, I read the string theory and heard some of the string theorists on TV. That reminds me of the endless times I have read, as part of my curriculum alone, the big-bang theory. So many times, God, so many! ...that it led me into believing that that's how it all started. Why do they teach it like that at school? Is it a thing of my school or my teachers only ?(BTW, have been to three schools and know scores of similarly-illusion ed-students from other schools.) Or, is it drilled into the heads of pupils that way only in India? The big-bang is just a theory. So is the Darwin's evolution theory and several other. Yeah, you would say, of course we all know that!

But that's not the point. Now you know, I know and everyone knows. Yet when I was first introduced to big-bang as a li'l girl, I imagined everything as if it was really happening then, in front of my eyes. I believed in it. Held it as true for a long long time. It's very close to saying, I grew up with the big-bang assumption neatly settled in the base of my mind. Doesn't harm, you'd say. I don't agree.

I think little kids should be introduced to these theories in a certain way...cautiously...something like this, "We don't know why we have innumerable stars, planets or other celestial/ heavenly bodies (whoever coined that term, for God's sake!)in the universe. Also - dear children - in general, nobody is so sure about where all that stuff came from or how it came into being. The fact is that we can only make calculated guesses or estimates about it. Long back a smart guy called Georges Lemaitre proposed one such possibility. Hence, we have a theory which is known as the big-bang theory. Now before I explain what that is, let me introduce you to other such theories which are not as popular......(Feed in all the theories that you want now)...Well, now which one do you think sounds more believable to you? Can you imagine your own little theory for how the universe was born?...."

No?

Man on the aisle

What is it about old men and college? I often seem to come across old-men who are talking fondly among themselves about college. I guess, college days are the best days in a man's life (man, as in mankind). It's sad that they get to know that only when they are that old. I knew it when I was in college and never made much out of it. Also, I think my days working as a consultant are as good as well, if not more. May be I am the indifferent kind.

Now, I was in this 2X2 aircraft on my way back to my hometown...if you travel in sectors that have your tickets loudly announce to you - "NOTE: This flight is not a jet.", you will probably know that the aisle in those crafts are big enough only for two size-zero air hostesses to walk alongside. A fat man is an embarrassment to the aisle and the airline alike, on that small plane. So, here I was, staring at co-passengers in the economy cabin of the same jet (oops, non-jet!) that carried a happily chubby old uncle seated somewhere in the rear (lets call him, uncle at the rear seat or UR). My mind started anticipating a story being spun out when the old uncle moved conspicuously towards another old uncle seated in the front row (lets call him, uncle at the front seat or UF).

Firstly, it was quite a spectacle watching the UR struggle his way through the congested aisle to the front. All passengers on aisle seats, almost automatically, drew their elbows in! (When it comes to dangers that are more visible, passengers don't need to be told over and again - "Please switch off you mobile phone at this moment".). Well, the uncle kept moving forward with the co-operation of all present countrymen that Subash Chandra Bose never saw in his lifetime...and then suddenly, UR found himself stuck between two food-trolleys (or whatever you call them) which entered one from each side of the cabin. Momentarily, all eyes stared in unison at the UR and then the air hostesses, taking turns at looking them both. Pregnant pause followed. Then one of the stewardess asked uncle to get into one of the seats so that she can move the trolley forward for him to carry on with his long-walk-to-freedom. The most probable target-aisle-passengers instantly pretended they were sleeping including I. Nonetheless, UR smashed a young man's foot trying to fit in between him and the seat-back before him. Poor guy!

By this time, of course, all passengers were waiting with bated breath to find out where UR wants to go (given that there was no toilet/washroom towards the front of the non-jet.) UR let open the secret by placing a tough hand at UF's sturdy shoulders jolting him out of sleep. Like Devanand, UR tilted his head and smiled at UF. Like all of us Indians, UF was programmed to smile back without delay. But I could tell that UF had no clue who UR was! I am sure he must be praying it is not some hijacker planning to make him the hostage. To make the situation further embarrassing, UR asked in a coarse voice - "Pehchaana, hain?" (roughly translates to: Did you recognize me, huh?).

UF( With "I'm-a-bit-lost" written large on his face): "Ha ha, arre saab kya haal hai?" (Howz u, Mister?)
UR (Without budging an inch): "Pehchaana ki nahi?" (did you recognize me or not?)
UF (Smiling too much, suddenly): "Haan, Haan, kaise nahi.." (Sure, how can I not?)
UR (Putting UF in a sticky situation now): "Bata kaun hun?" (So tell me, who am I?)
UF (Staring blankly as if the answer will appear with the snacks the stewardess was serving): " he he.."
UR (Interrupting UF's weird laughter): "Ashok..yaad aaya?" (I'm ashok, rings a bell, doesn't it?)
UF (Shouting loud.. almost got up): "arrrrree Ashok, kya baat hai, kahan ho aaj kal?" then softly adds, "Pehchaan gaya tha main, naam muh pur nahi aa raha tha.." (Apparently, UF had recognized UR already only that the name-server of his brain didn't help.)

And then, the entire crew and crowd knew it that UR and UF were from the same college. Some of curious passengers then retired to sleep, as if they had reached the fag end of a thriller with the suspense out in the open now. But for me, the story continued. They talked in one sentence about how good the college was...another couple of sentences about good college days. Then UR asked UF about where Shobha was these days and UF answered Shobha had gotten married and settled in Jaipur. I obviously thought Shobha was UF's relation (daughter,sister, may be wife). Then UR asked about another lady and then another...UF and UR were talking about girls from their college! They never mentioned a single male-fellow. It must be a co-incidence. From the looks of the two of them, it must have been a 100 years ago that they left college but they named some 6-7 girls from those days and also from the city-college! Of course, UF remembered each girl's name and whereabouts, as if he was 'single-handedly' running the yellow-pages business. But, obviously, he couldn't recall UR's name :)

Then UR was approached by the stewardess reluctantly, to ask him where can she serve him snacks...I thought to myself, what's some petty snacks as against great conversations about girls in college. To my surprise, old uncles have their priorities very clear, he slightly waved his hand to UF and asked the lady to serve him at his seat. Everyone was party to the developments and hence they all gave way for UR's retreat, making an extra inch available on the aisle. Arrgh, these non-jets, there's hardly any space ;)